Dookie Air Dump

By | MRS. GOSSIPY GOAT | This conversation was over heard by Mrs. Gossipy Goat, while acting like a dumb animal. From Three people who were recalling a scary time they had on their flight from Chicago to New Deli. At a park where Mrs. Gossipy Goat hangs out. | “Tower, this is Captain Joe, AIR-387 from Chicago to New Deli cruising at altitude of 30,000 feet and heading southeast at 600 mph. Do you copy? “We copy good buddy what your twenty?” We will arrive in about 4 hours 25 minutes in New Deli, India @ 18:00 local time.” “Ten-Four, have fun flight, Tower out.” Thirty minutes later, tower this is flight AIR-387 we need to report a mission critical biological emergency!

“We copy, this is Tower!” “Captain Joe, please state you emergency.” Well…, it is hard to explain but we can’t breath due to the oppressive odor from the lavatories and toilets, which are over flowing sending black water and floaters all over the passenger compartment.” “Tower, we copy that, what ever you do please do not, repeat do not open the DOORS!” “Currently, We are using the drop down oxygen system, with five hours left in reserve!” “Tower to Captain Joe,” “we copy.” After a group think with our Team. We decided to try this…, do you have any hillbillies on board?” They could find a solution to you situation quickly because they are smarter than they look and ain’t afraid of dealing with POOP. | “This is captain Joe we have possible solution to our problem.” Do we have any hillbillies on board? If you are a genuine hillbilly please come forward to the business class.”

Well Doggies, Melvin and his cousin walk forward to the business class where Captain Joe was waiting. “Hey, boys, I am sure you are aware of our shituations, do you have any ideas which would save us?” “Can’t think of none right how, ain’t had enough time to thinks about it. “I just thought of a way.” “I brought my mencine with me for my rathritis and that would desolove that POOP in a huery.” “But, ain’t got noe up here, it is in my baggage down there. (pointing down to the floor with his right index finger) I am to fat at 550 poulds to get it no way. So, I bet Dudemanus could root around down there and find it.”

“So you see Dude mean poop butt it became popular with hippies of the Sixties along with Chick or hoe, (and not to confused with hoeing the garden and if you have chicken coup you have a lot hoes in a house) if you will. This talk was adopted by the this assome group because they were reelly cool. Melvin, continues that Dudemanus, got his name from his mom due (she was a latin buff and just dug those crazy Roman names) basically from the fact she watched too much Television with overt propaganda. So just like the Hippies she was under severe mind control by an unnamed company. Many Baby Booms were like wise heavelly influced by the vibes of that time. Anywhay, his mom thought that, Dudemanus, would be a reelly cool name for her boy. Fast forward to today family and friends just call hem “Dookie.” The boy was so good at rooting around that he and his brother Peepee, started a rotter rooting company called: Dookie & Peepee, Inc. Their modo is The Rootins Tootins Rooters, this side of the Tri Delta star system. Well Dookie started to remove a few seats and pull up a small area of carpet and began unscrewing the screws from the floor panel. He was surprised to see so few screws, because many were missing. “He stated that it looks like the company that built this aeroplain must have used D.I.E. labor, and probally said at quitting time O piss on it I can’t see it from my house and what is a few screws anyway. And of course, no one else QC’s them anyhow.” Finally after a few minutes The floor panel was removed and Dookie began rooting around in the cargo hold. From front to back he rooted and rooted with some guidance from Melvin from above, he finally found the jars of “rathritis mencine” and handed them up to Melvin.

Captain Joe, was standing near by and said “thank goodness you found it.” The Tower wanted us to desend to 5,000 feet and in a holding pattern make a dookie dump. I told them we could not make a dookie dump because we were constipated up to our eyeballs. And also, informed them once we find the arthritis medicine we could possibly make a big dookie dump. Melvin could not wait to pour the “rathritis mencine” in the affected vessels and with great anticipation from the crew slowly watch the sludge dissolve into a flushable format.

So, Captain Joe. following Tower instructions did a huge Dookie dump over the target zone. Then climbed back to 30,000 feet and resumed course to New Delia, India. | Well due to unknown laws of physics, the Dookie began to come together and form a brown saucer shaped craft. It looked like a CLONE of a classic shaped “FLYING SAUCER”. Rumor has it, from unnamed sources that this brown shaped saucer was formed by H.A.R.R.P’s One-Trillion watt burn over the Atlantic Ocean drop zone. Of course, the E.B.E.’s were interested in this “NEW TECHNOLOGY” that the humans have created and they arrived by the hundreds to check it out. After close inspection, they started to laugh and laugh until their sides hurt and were rolling on the floor gripped with abdominal pain and hit their noggins together while rolling around on the floor laughing. All this commotion piqued N.O.R.A.D.’s interest as they peeked at their radars.

Mean while, the Commanding General, ordered F-35’s to be scrambled to investigate the situation, but could not complete their mission because of thunder storms in the area. So, F-16 were scrambled instead and located the massive collection of the E.B.E’s saucer shaped craft hovering around this brown shaped saucer. The F-!6’s pilot’s orders was to capture this advanced craft and force it land. Well we all know by this time that the E.B.E’s were scattering like rats when they detected the F-16’s approaching. It is now, obvious to us now that the “DOOKIE SAUCER” would not respond to radio hails from the F-16’s. So, the pilots radio N.O.R.A.D. for further orders. The Commanding General had a group think with Washington and was ordered to bring it down for fear of some kind of E.B.E. invasion of advanced technology. The F-16’s were armed with side winders missiles and all twenty of them let it all loose at one time. The old saying when “WHEN THE SHIT HITS THE FAN” really works, because the dookie was sucked into the F’16’s engine fan blades and they fell like dookie into the Atlantic Ocean and became floaters on the ocean of destiny. So, the power of the top secrete “DOOKIE WEAPONS” really really work and M.I.C. will really really love to make more. Please read these hillbilly stories with caution becuse you wiil talk like a hillbilly and if that, ain’t the truth. Can’t be becuse hillbilly talk is fun and that ain’t no dookie. | Mrs. Nosy Elephant and Hands 167 contributed to this story. |

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